-Don’t Waste Your Time-
Bogie Radio Fix:
Just to be clear, the only reason this one even gets 1/2 a Bogie fix is because Lauren Bacall steals the show with the only two, all too brief, bright spots in the program. Bogart is almost nonexistent. You can hear him laughing off-mike for most of the show, and he has a short “thank you” speech at the end, but don’t listen for any sort of Bogie-appreciation.
Let me also say early on, anyone who knows me personally wouldn’t consider me a prude. Most of my favorite comedic films, comedians, and television shows would fall into the “R Rated” category of grownup entertainment. Swearing doesn’t bother me unless it’s used pointlessly for no other reason than the material that it resides within could not hold up on its own.
All of that said, The Friars Club Roast of Humphrey Bogart is a long, hard, obnoxious slog of a show that spends 90% of it’s time on homophobic and misogynistic comedy that has NOTHING to do with Bogart. In fact, almost all of the presenters make it a point to mention that they not only haven’t worked with Bogart in films, but they also don’t really know him personally.
Hosted by Roastmaster Red Buttons (one of the few presenters to have some good material), the show is one “roaster” after another using every conceivable slang term for the male anatomy – usually in reference to oral sex. (I know, I know – I sound like a real prude…but trust me, it’s over done.
Alan King, Charles Coburn, Lou Holtz, Phil Silvers, and Jan Murray are just a few of the presenters who show up to throw out penis jokes, talk about everything except Bogart, and admit they prepared little or no material for the show.
Before you start your replies below, I know how Friars Club Roasts work. I’ve seen lots of them – both the Dean Martin incarnations and some of Comedy Central’s celebrity hi-jinks. This one suffers from age, though. Women weren’t allowed in the room. More time is spent pointing out local celebs in the room than roasting the honoree. And, as I mentioned before, the comedy painfully does not hold up. Not solely because it’s offensive (that’s what the Friars Club is supposed to do, right?), but because the presenters have nothing else to rely on except the offensive stuff.
On the other hand, Lauren Bacall is able to upstage the entire panel in her first appearance at the roast when Buttons plays an audio tape of a message she pre-recorded since women weren’t allowed in the room. Bacall covers the same-exact tasteless topics as the men do, but her jokes are much better written – relying on word play and innuendo specifically tailored to Bogart and his career. Of note, the whole “grab my gun” joke is probably the best piece of business in the whole show, although that’s not saying much.
Bacall also makes an in-the-flesh appearance at the end of the show after Bogart gives his brief thanks, and again steals the show even though she didn’t have prepared material and was put on the spot to speak.
Have I been hard enough on the show yet? If you really want to listen, go for it. It was released on vinyl and is currently available on YouTube. But I’d say it’s probably not worth your time except for those interested in hearing Lauren Bacall show a room full of desperate men how to really do a roast.